RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
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I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
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Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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