did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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