Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
