Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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