I heard we made out
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Randomize
