Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
