it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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