Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
