Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
