I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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