Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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