her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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