last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
