Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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