A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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