I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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