so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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