When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
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Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize