your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
