I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Randomize
