let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I supernannyed him into submission
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
