i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
