People in love make me want to vomit
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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