I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
