just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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