You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I touched a dick in church today
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
