i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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