I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
