just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
