oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
