I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Randomize