I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
