i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I am naked and annoyed.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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