He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
