they need to just BURY HIM!
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
