porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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