all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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