apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
