when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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