This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
