Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
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i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
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She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
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