If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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