Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
