i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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