so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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