we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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