i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize