i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
