using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
