is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?