Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass. http://tfl.nu/jig4
  Replies (18) Good night (5430) Bad night (638)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list. http://tfl.nu/2ara
  Replies (129) Good night (2906) Bad night (508)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night. http://tfl.nu/k3dk
  Replies (15) Good night (798) Bad night (3010)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  my vagina's been through so much this weekend

  (1-860): View more from Connecticut

  you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): my vagina's been through so much this weekend (1-860): you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend? http://tfl.nu/jr6r
  Replies (35) Good night (7662) Bad night (1023)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend. http://tfl.nu/nkcl
  Replies (8) Good night (985) Bad night (5586)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me. http://tfl.nu/t4ey
  Replies (3) Good night (1037) Bad night (3004)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever. http://tfl.nu/i189
  Replies (61) Good night (1760) Bad night (11094)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (605): You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex. http://tfl.nu/lyw2
  Replies (10) Good night (4827) Bad night (892)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  $100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): $100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me. http://tfl.nu/si9y
  Replies (16) Good night (2505) Bad night (542)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway. http://tfl.nu/bxvu
  Replies (8) Good night (2437) Bad night (635)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (252): I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time. http://tfl.nu/viaw
  Replies (1) Good night (1196) Bad night (567)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (701): This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth http://tfl.nu/r917
  Replies (12) Good night (854) Bad night (575)
• Favorite

  (+33): View more from France

  Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+33): Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper. http://tfl.nu/xgzc
  Replies (1) Good night (797) Bad night (398)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you http://tfl.nu/ds9i
  Replies (1) Good night (416) Bad night (195)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped. http://tfl.nu/bmak
  Replies (1) Good night (312) Bad night (227)

Randomize