Im at strip club and am horny
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
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i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
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Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night