Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.

  (515): View more from Iowa

  I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.

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  (918): Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama. (515): I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott. http://tfl.nu/z2im
  Replies (121) Good night (1836) Bad night (1555)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple

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  (315): my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple http://tfl.nu/6ez5
  Replies (8) Good night (918) Bad night (1862)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.

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  (253): I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby. http://tfl.nu/itl7
  Replies (9) Good night (731) Bad night (2829)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.

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  (630): Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now. http://tfl.nu/6k12
  Replies (12) Good night (4178) Bad night (863)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth

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  (518): I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth http://tfl.nu/kl4h
  Replies (20) Good night (7687) Bad night (1210)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"

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  (208): She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!" http://tfl.nu/qjvm
  Replies (41) Good night (3019) Bad night (9704)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.

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  (405): I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven. http://tfl.nu/4vzm
  Replies (8) Good night (3036) Bad night (853)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  I will miss his soup and his dick the most

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  (561): I will miss his soup and his dick the most http://tfl.nu/ampu
  Replies (7) Good night (1728) Bad night (1180)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose

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  (973): I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose http://tfl.nu/nvzm
  Replies (1) Good night (650) Bad night (1465)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college

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  (219): They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college http://tfl.nu/yfmf
  Replies (10) Good night (3492) Bad night (693)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"

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  (212): all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???" http://tfl.nu/w522
  Replies (8) Good night (1445) Bad night (782)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused

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  (781): So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused http://tfl.nu/u6gk
  Replies (4) Good night (793) Bad night (350)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.

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  (209): I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick. http://tfl.nu/jrjk
  Replies (1) Good night (721) Bad night (467)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?

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  (516): you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call? http://tfl.nu/y8f9
  Replies (5) Good night (330) Bad night (723)
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.

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  (906): She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it. http://tfl.nu/2rns
  Replies (4) Good night (368) Bad night (790)

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