"it" just moved
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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