I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
