i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
