i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I think your dad took our porno
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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