Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
