I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I stole a fireplace last night.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
