you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
