margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
