I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I'm both gender and math confused
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
