4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
