I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
