Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
