Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
