my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
