Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
