? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
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