U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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